On football as a tool for queer pride and self-expression.
I’m not really shy, or I’m not really [pause] cautious when I’m speaking about my sexual orientation or my identity. Because through football I’ve learned to be more outspoken, to be more [pause] out there, really. We often talk about the closet – being in the closet – but I think through football I’ve had that chance to make that extra step. That extra step to say to the lads out there, “Look, you know what, I am who I am”. And I’m happy to do what I can do. Through my friends, through football. I mean it’s an ex– A lot of people use art and other things to express themselves. I use football to express myself, really, so it’s [pause] my [pause] machine, my gun? So let’s call it that way actually [laughs]. It’s the tool that I have, really, to express who I am.
On his earliest memory of football, watching the Champions League in Cameroon.
I remember watching the Champions League with my father. So he was travelling a lot, so he would come home once or twice a year. And he was– He used to play handball when he was at uni. And then he get into football. Obviously, I think football is a big thing in Cameroon. Everybody wants to play football. Everybody wants to be the Roger Milla, the Samuel Eto’o or the Patrick Mboma, you know? I remember watching the Champions League final, Real Madrid against Bayern Leverkusen. So, that was the game that probably changed my life, per se. The goal of Zinedine Zidane, that goal. I remember sitting on that sofa. And, to be fair, football was a way to connect with my father as well. Because, I mean, as a busy man, he didn’t really have enough time to deal with everything around him with the family. So when he was around, it was football. So yeah, I think football– [pause] yeah I think it was just a way for us to talk, in a sense. That final was my earliest memory of what is– of what is football, you know, like seeing people being happy because they’re kicking a ball or chasing after something that is round. So yeah, that was really impressive. Up to today, I still have that in my mind and I’m like yeah maybe that was an eye-opening for me to get into– really really getting into football.
On facing discrimination in football teams and how that changed with Yaas Queens Park.
TF: I think down in England, or having faced discrimination based on my gender identity or sexual orientation in the past. It put me off. So I was like, okay you know what– and you don’t want to be on the pitch, or you don’t want to go into a team where your teammate wouldn’t accept you, you know? Where the manager wouldn’t accept you, and that will create a bit of conflict, you know? I’m a fighter on the pitch but I’m not a fighter off the pitch, so if anything happens off the pitch, I’m not involved. If it’s fighting with the ball, on the pitch, yeah, I will fight. Even for two hours mate, I will fight! But if it’s off the pitch, even with the ball, I wouldn’t really do that because it’s not something that I want to do or that I even enjoy doing. Yeah, I think finding the right team that respect who I am. Obviously, that I respect also, the whole entire team and the value of the team and stuff like that. So that was probably, um– [pause]. That was an interesting thing to consider, moving– moving on, or getting a new team– a football team.
Interviewer: And can you remember a bit more about that first time you played with Yass Queen’s Park? Can you tell me about what that session was like?
TF: [Sigh] Thursday evening. I think the kickoff of that game was around quarter past seven. It snowed a little bit that day. My touches were not the best because I was not really– my shoes– because the shoes that I had were not proper football shoes because I thought it was, you know, when you play on the 5-a-side, it’s different when you play on the bigger pitch at the 11-a-side. So, because of the snow, I think I kept falling down for some reason. I was like, yeah mate, stand up! But you know when you run and then you want to break and then turn and all the stuff, and so I couldn’t do all these things. But the funny thing is the entire team kept encouraging me. So I was like, you know what? Because, I mean, playing for a different– playing with the team that I used to play down in England, it was more about you’re– there were a lot of expectations on you to score a goal, make that decisive pass.
The encouragement was really limited. But playing with these guys, under the snow, and keep falling down and making the wrong passes. But, they kept encouraging me and then that encouragement made a huge difference because even though – I think we drew that game, we drew that game – but there was something different. Really, really different.I was like, okay, you know what, there’s something here that I’ve never seen before, or never had before. So yeah, I think the game was not one of my best. But the emotion, the friendliness, the encouragement was something that I’ve never received in the past.
On what it feels like to be part of a team.
Right now, I think it’s just to play with my friends at Yaas Queen’s Park. I think every single time I play with them, I know it’s a five-a-side, but when I’m on the pitch, and I look back and I’m like, okay, you know what, I have four big guys that will back me up in any situation and I’m like okay, you know what, boom! Okay guys, let’s go. You know. I don’t know how to, how to– It’s like dressing up. You know, when you leave your bed, you go to a shower, you have your shower and then you dress up to go out. You feel good! So that’s how I feel when I’m playing with the Yass Queen’s Park guys. Yeah, because they literally helped me to love football again. Because I’ve lost that love for two, three years. So I think, yeah, getting back that love for football through them was probably something very– it’s a bit emotional but also with a lot of joy, really. So yeah [laughs].